Family Photos

starting with the handsome man at the top - that's Coma, the oldest son. Then there's Eveline, Caroline, Krisi and Andy. Have I mentioned him before? He's a wonderful little boy who loves to hunt grasshoppers with a bow and arrow. The 'arrow' is 6 wires which cage the grasshopper. Have I mentioned they taste nice when sauted in oil and salt. Qhite crunchy! Next is Spencer, followed by Krisi.

March 25 - time to go.....

March 25
Oh how sad…. I’ve left the village and my friends!

We had a great dance party - pictures to follow.... some day. A village style party is not different to the numerous meetings I attended which have the following protocol. They all begin with brief introductions from the secretary followed by more in depth introductions made usually by Spencer. During his speeches he includes more detail about each person present and their numerous titles. (One person will hold many titles on many different committees.) This usually takes up a large chunk of time. I interpret this part as the I stoke your back, you stroke mine and I've started to play along. As Spencer's descriptions of me change and get more flattering and fun, I also change my speeches of gratitude and include stories of wonderful meals and good company. So our party started in this usual manner and there were many in attendance so introductions took a while.

The next event was the women dancing. The music is made by clapping and singing. The older women taking the alto parts and the young women take the higher notes. They turn all songs into a wonderful harmony following one leader and everyone knows their parts and where to stand. Each song has a particular dance which is danced by one person standing in the center of the ring. I was often asked to join in the center and had no trouble following the steps which pleased us all. And so we danced. One by one. The men kept trying to end this portion of the party but I took advantage of my confused gender role and said No! We were going to continue! The more they complained I would encourage them to join until finally there were a few embarrassed men in our ring and we loved it! It was good fun! And made for a lot of good gossip!

Afterwards we wandered ever so slowly home and shared the cokes with passers by. A nice warm afternoon.

For our last dinner together we had a chicken donated from the bakery women. Spencer and I had another nip of banana wine and told secrets. He told me the head of the HAP committee was the one to let the water out of the dam cause it was flooding his garden so he ruined the water supply for all the gardens for the year. :-( We discovered it was him behind no one showing up for the meetings. He didn't deliver all the hand written messages so no one knew about our meetings at the dam. He's a very twinkly charismatic guy - easy to like, but not to be trusted. So sad. And Spencer is so honest and tries so hard to get things going. He worked so hard to organise the program and get people to be on time.

It was a warm day inside and out. A really nice cozy ending to our time together. And as we often did at the end of the hot day, we lay together on the mat under the stars and drifted off to sleep. So good.



So I've left the village but am way too involved to ever leave it completely. I have so much more to tell and will now be involved with them at another level. Please don't give up on us yet - on the blog - there are so many more fun things to tell about the life there and I need to write it down, so please keep reading.....

What I said and believed last week about the government starting a food distribution program never happened. I’m now at the regional meetings for DCAs partners and am impressed that they’re interested in my experiences and surprised to hear how hungry the people are. The facilitator who works so hard in the area is exhausted and I think has lost his voice. He’s out of energy. He drives into the areas everyday and is bombarded with complaints of hunger and requests for food. The people have become completely dependent on the NGO to provide them with all answers and food. They call it Dependency Syndrome. I’ve seen it. But what to do????? No one at the meeting seems to have an answer, but I think I might be giving those people an extra voice and the director is really listening to me. He was surprised to hear what I had to say. He didn’t know it was so bad. I wonder if the government knows. It seems the villagers dependency on the ngo has made them forget that it’s the Malawian government who is ultimately responsible for them and they forget to complain through those official channels – which begin with the Village Chiefs. The chiefs seemed less powerful than the local NGO village volunteers.

As for my project….. I do think the HAP standard (Humanitarian Accountability Partnership) has made a positive impact on the beneficiaries. It’s the beginning of making THEM accountable to THEMSELVES! Now there’s a twist. It’s supposed to make the NGO’s accountable to the beneficiaries. But I see the only way forward is to get them to stand on their own feet, run their own programs and stop depending on the NGO for aid and motivation. They need to be empowered to take charge, have ideas and own them, ask for help when needed but to fuel themselves so the NGOs can begin to exit. The addition of the HAP standard to the programs has begun to get more involvement out of the people by handing over much more information and responsibility to the people.
I think I would like to continue to work with HAP in some way. My next course which starts mid April is in sustainable recovery and I will have so much more to offer this time and look forward to many discussions and reading assignments. It has all come to light! Or is it all darker?? Still a bit confused!

but well and happy....and a little sad.....

March 22 There's A Hole In The Bucket Dear Krisi

As you can see, my rose colored shades have fallen off….

At home I complain about things that don’t work or cause me delay or frustration such as traffic and trains not on schedule or the store running out of something I want. Next time I’m inconvenienced I will try to remember this day. I‘m leaving the village tomorrow so there’s going to be a farewell party in the village. They know I love to dance so that will be our main event. I have bought a crate of coke for those who will follow us back to the house. Getting the crate here was much more of a hassle than the cost. We started out carrying it between us but half way through we rearranged so I got to carry a baby on my back African style and the crate was popped onto the mommy’s head and we proceeded.

Now starts the trouble…..water. I followed Krisi to the well – which I now am allowed to do – to discover the pump was broken. We continued walking to another spot to collect water from a hole where there was a group gathered – the hole was dry. We proceeded to 2 more wells and with the 3rd we had success. But where were we now? Far from home. We scrubbed and filled our buckets and popped them on our heads to head back home. (by the way, pumping the water is more strenuous than carrying it home. It's a real work out!) The painful walk – almost a kilometer – gave me plenty of time to think about how different my life is simply cause I was born into a well off American family. I have so much to be grateful for…..But back to the village – what to do? How will the village get the money to fix the pump. The government takes no responsibility for the villages. I have given half of my possessions and am leaving all my medicines. I secretly hand out money to those daring enough to whisper requests in private. But what good does it do? How will it help them next week? It’s so complicated. And do they really want to give up this village life where when the corn processing for the day is over, your only job – if you’re a man – is to lie around and chat and plan meetings.

One of the water buckets is cracking. I watched Krisi and Spencer just looking at the bucket on the ground. (EVERYTHING is on the ground as there are no counter tops, tables, chairs etc. Just a portable mat you move around as needed.) They had nothing to say. What could they do? It’s crazy – they have no income. They live off the land and shop for very little – but what to do when the land failed to produce this year? They need cash for a new bucket, for food. Where on earth will it come from?

I spent yesterday talking to the field facilitator about working in this area. I wondered why cotton, a drought resistant cash crop, wasn’t more popular. He said they had done a study and it caused trouble in the households by giving the men cash and caused them to spend time in the markets which left the women out of the loop. The men like to drink a bit if they get a little cash. I don’t think I got the whole story, but it was evident it went deeper into their family and social structures than simply switching crops.

The plot get mores complicated all the time. I understand more.... and less every day. At first I thought it was simple, there's water everywhere under ground and the powerful Shire River (not sure how to spell that) is not far away. So they just need to get the water up somehow. Then i learn about the politics of the dam project. I think change crops. They don't want to change crops. Empower the women, plant trees, grow vegetables, keep bees, goats - all these things are happening but they're long term solutions - there is no solution for this year. But why haven't the goats and bees started to generate income after the 3 years they've had them. I think it's politics - local politics, family politics and the village lifestyle that are slow to change. And they're used to getting aid for free. What to do??
Got any ideas??
I'm going to keep thinking about it.....

March 20 - More on Maize

March 20 More on Maize - The cultural addiction

Maize! I surrender! Corn has become the golf game, shopping, gambling, drinking …what else?...It’s everything that takes people away or consumes then. An escape and an addiction, something you can’t imagine life without. I now see it as a cultural addiction. It has so many functions within the family and community. There is not one person left out of the corn culture – from planting to consumption- there’s a job for everyone. Everyone is brought together in the care of the corn.

It begins with men and women together turning the soil and preparing the beds. In this family it’s the job of the man to plant the seeds and the women to cover it with soil. Then they wait for the rains to come which are expected from Dec – March. During this time the farmers weed and wait for the harvest. This year the rains came as scheduled but abruptly stopped at the end of January and any rain that falls now is of no use. The corn is already dried and what they harvest will only last a month or two…

At present, it’s harvest, a poor harvest, but still a lot of work. The men leave for the gardens when the roosters crow which is usually within a kilometer from the house and return with a sac of corn on their heads. In this house both Coma (29 yr old son) and Spencer take care of this chore. Today Coma made 2 trips alone.

Then the kernels have to be removed from the cob. People gather and passers-by join on the mat to begin manually pushing the kernels off the cobs and onto the mat. This is such a nice activity and there is always good chatter. The conversations yesterday were about a witch hunter who is travelling through the villages and everyone is quite scared. He apparently receives money from the village head who collects about 20 cents per household to rid the village of witches – men or women who have stopped the rains from falling. Apparently this has caused many to spend from dawn to dusk hiding in their gardens. I must say I feel a bit uneasy myself. I asked what the village does with their witches and didn’t get a clear answer, but it was not good.

Once the kernels are removed they need several days in the sun drying on mats before they can are taken to the mill. Everywhere you go you see corn drying on roofs or on mats on the ground.

Some other uses- the cobs and husks are used as pot holders. The cobs are also used as fuel and toilet paper. The wandering herds of goats nibble on the cobs or get a cob thrown at them if they’re getting into the kernels.

I guess all I’m saying is that maize would be a hard habit to break, but given its non drought resilient nature, I think they had better start rethinking their days. Not easy for any of us.

Oh How I hope you're all well and happy!!
xxoo
Nina
ps. i've found a good remedy for eating corn bricks 2ce a day....a banana wine. which is why you're all now getting hugs and kisses. i'm a little tipsy.... :-)

Little Observations

Mr Johnston Ngalu, 4 wives, father of 33, aged 89. One son is got his masters degree in engineering in Utah and is running for a seat in parliment on May 19.

Malawi avocados being sold at the market.

I can't stop..... FORGIVE ME!!! The voice in my head won't shut up. I've begun carrying a little notebook to jot down everthing I want to tell you. Cause I think every little thing I see and feel is so important and really believe you want to know about it too. So I appologise for this never ending dialogue that runs in my head, NON STOP, to spill onto the blog. My mom always said I was very obsevant.... and talked a lot. Now I'm learning to write a lot.

I love to see all the differences between here and there, basically what I take for granted as true, which is only my idea of 'true'. FOr example, here in Malawi, an avocado is ripe when the seed inside rattles. In Malawi they're much sweeter and eaten as a fruit with sugar. see picture

You eat the skin on guavas or you'll get a hard stomach, I was told. It tastes nice too.

A 5 year old is a perfect baby sitter to a 1 1/2 year old. The older sibling - usually a girl - even carries them on her back using a cloth. They take the child around the village for the day and the mother never sees the kids til meal time. The children always seem safe as there are many eyes in the village and plenty of dirt to rest on. The kids are definitely raised communally.

Walking can also be done slowly! There's a brother of Spencer who I tease because he walks so slowly it looks as if he's going backwards. I saw someone the other day walking as I usually do - FAST - and she looked so out of place. Everyone commented that that one was in a hurry! I am usually in a hurry.

You don't need a tree to lean on. I know my dad would notice right away that no one grabbed the spot beside the trunk for rest. At first I found sitting so hard. No indian-style allowed for the women in skirts - just straight back and straight legs or side saddle. After I got used to it and also found ways to sneak my legs into cross - leg, I found the tree no longer necessary either. Then there was always an occasional spot on the odd bench or brick or small rock.

Garbage can be disposed of in many ways. Actually, in the village there is no such thing as garbage. They throw their cobs, husks, food scraps and occasional paper or animal remains into the bush. At night the dogs and goats sweep through the area and all that remains are the odd paper wrappings - mostly which I imported and quickly learned to keep in my suitcase. There is very little waste or things that come with packaging but if the markets start carrying more 'junk' they'll have to think about the fact that the paper and foil wrappings are not tasty to the dogs and remain on the ground. Plastic bags and bottles are in demand and used carefully.

Monogamy?? Spencer has 24 siblings (8 passed away) and his father has 3 wives and divorced one. His dad is called Johnston Ngalu, he's 89 years old and is building a new house and planning to buy a car next year. The guy has got energy. He jumps up from the ground when it's time to go and moves every so quickly. He is very sharp and full of humour. See picture


A clean floor is not necessarily without mud. Krisi 'mopped' the floor the other day. What a job. She took two types of dirt - one sandy and one more organic and we mixed them on the floor breaking up the clumps and removing small stones and sticks. I noticed some of the clumps where quite organic! Then you mix it up with water and make clay to be spread evenly over the entire room. It's a really slow process - she took a flat, round stone and 'polished' and leveled the surface for quite some time. The result was lovely - a shiny surface without any protruding stones. With time and daily sweeping the surface begins to disappear and the process has to be repeated every other week - in a good household like Krisi's.

Hot coals are good for keeping the pit latrin smelling fresh. Twice a day is recommended.

Going to the movies....Krisi and I went to the movies 3 times. There's a meeting place right next to her house where the head master runs a program every Friday and Saturday night showing Chinese slap stick fighting movies. She never goes cause she has no money, but with me there she was ever so eager to get inside. It's powered by a generator and a tv and vcr player are carefully carried to the large straw hut. We sat on a 2 inch rail for 2 hours which was SO UNCOMFOPRTABLE and SO HOT in there! Krisi loved it. I learned to fall directly to sleep during our movie nights - not my favorite.

Bananas!! I would say the bananas you buy in europe taste like half a banana. Half the sweetness and half the banana taste. They are simply way better in Malawi!!

I had to drink Krisi's boiled water in my own container which meant it was usally pretty warm, had corn fluff floating in it and tasted like smoke. I was totally healthy the whole time in the village and got a slight traveller stomach only when I stayed in the hotel. I told you she was a great housekeeper!

more later... and there is a lot more for those sticking around.....

Well and happy? If not, take aim and THROW yourself at it full throttle. Nothing to lose! Just time and your life.
:-)

and speaking of wasting time....clutter.....my hair has turned gray and frizzie. The real me has escaped again. So off I go to the beauty parlor to regain a few years in the mirror.

March 19 - Who Am I?

A good question to meditate on...

I've heard from some wise people, that lifes greatest challenge no matter where you go, will always be the same. You'll meet your own self, your own demons. My enemies aren't the in the insect world, nor in the lack of creature comforts, nor in hard work, nor heat. I carry my garbage around with me but usually ignore it. So what would that be…..a lack of confidence, a lack of focus in details, a general sense of confusion, and this one I hate the most....a lazy mind. Yikes, I hate that one!! This trip also makes me realise how you get challenged by changing your routines and discovering how dependant you are on certain comforts and status symbols you attach yourself to. It makes me think about how many props we have to hold ourselves up and keep up our image. (I guess living in Norrebro has also taught me a bit about that...) Here you have nothing familiar to hold on to and identify with.

And......since I no longer know what i look like - no mirrors - I feel great!! I think beauty is defined differently here and I like it! As for no mirrors, people adjust your collar or remove food from other's faces as needed. It's sweet.

And then there's the question of fitting into a different set of values with different props and symbols. So how do I fit in as a woman living half in the mens' world of meetings and speeches? I have to say I don’t agree with the values system for men and woman and struggle with it. I feel owned by the man of the house. I am taken care of like a precious object, but don’t have many rights. My objects, like my flashlight, have become under his control. He is so kind and harmless but still I really strain to control myself sometimes. He tells me what pictures to take and not take and I have to ask to use my flashlight. I usually ask only to give it to Krisi who is carefully navigating in the pitch black organizing the corn, dishes and doing other chores. (I'm often told to sit and talk with the men while Krisi works - but always sneak away to help her.) She's so happy to use it and it really has changed things for her to be able to see after 6:30pm. She usually doesn’t dare to ask for the light.

The other day I snuck to the little market with Krisi to help her sell her first batch of buns but Spencer appeared shortly after and escorted me back home. He reads all my sms messages over my shoulder and all the notes I take – which keeps everything very objective. I have taken to giving him something to read when I try to read so at least we’re not trying to read the same pages.

It doesn’t feel right to complain about someone who is also being very kind and generous with his time and family. I can see how the women here get stuck and dependant on their men and they’re totally powerless to change anything. Not true. Sometimes they pack up the 6-8 kids and move home to their parents.

The other day I could tell Krisi was upset about something and I managed to find out what. Spencer wouldn’t pay the 30cents for her to collect water from her well of choice (less salty) but made her go to the one she doesn’t like (salty water). She has no money of her own and has to be happy with what ever he says. It is he who decides what she will do during her days – he takes greedily what ever food he wants and leaves the remains for her. I know it’s none of my business but I hate to see him sitting around all day long and her working like a dog. It’s just another cultural difference which I don’t understand cause it’s not part of my upbringing. I can’t imagine what they would question about our habits.

She is so capable, strong and intelligent as with so many women here. There are many NGO’s that try to empower African woman – talk about a capacity! They should and could rule the world! It would be easier than what they do now….

.....as for the bun business. Baking is only part of the project and for them its the easiest. Everyday the buns are perfect, but finding ways to sell them and customers to buy them is difficult. I wish I could talk to her. I hardly ever get to talk to the women as most don't speak english due to not attending school long enough. The money is also challenging for them but they're also very motivated and proud of that aspect.

I'm off.....

Thanks for hanging with me. I know I'm now seeing that life is not perfect here and I feel like I'm complaining - but it isn't perfect. It has it's problems and the more I understand them and get personally involved in them, I guess I want to try and explain how it really is....and feels - cause I'm participating in it all.

March 18 - Oliver's Birthday!

It’s Oliver’s 14th birthday and I am missing him so much. This morning I rode to get my phone charged by someone with a battery charger and his radio was playing the local happy birthday song. Youch! That was a tough one. But now I know my plan is the right one – I'll wait till the kids are older – say in 5 years – before I find a job in the field. My field work is at home right now. I’m grateful I’ve had this opportunity and the degree wouldn't be worth much if I didn’t get into the field. This is what I want to spend my time doing later but I’ll find some way to contribute from behind a desk for now. My kids are the most important and I’m glad I know that for sure!

Malaria update. I’ve learned, as Caroline appeared the next day without a fever, that malaria is everywhere and usually only lasts a day or two. I carry my medicine around and hand out tablets at least 2ce a day. Everyone’s got it. The mosquitoes aren’t even noticeable and the bites don’t itch – nothing like the bombers in northern Sweden. Many now think I’m some sort of doctor and today I was asked if I had some tablets for a woman who was almost blind. So if there are any doctors out there…..you’re needed here!

:-)

March 16 - Corn

I am sick of corn.
I’m sick of eating it, looking at it lying around in all of it’s forms, in husks, without husks lying in the sun, off the cob, spread out to further dry, in sacks everywhere waiting to go to the mill and retuning as flour to be cooked into the nsima. Ever tried to clean a crusty cream of wheat pan cooked on an open fire with your fingers?

Everyone here is obsessed by corn. They LOVE to eat it. Nsima is like eating mashed potatoes or porridge – it’s a warm soft comfort food which you eat with your fingers. You fill your belly with it 2ce a day, it’s really filling and I’ve begun to look forward to it. Digesting it is another problem. A nice meal with start with boiled green corn on the cob – which is really chewy and tough. The next course is nsima – the hard cooked porridge which you roll into balls in your hands and dip it in ‘relish’ which is often a very small amount of kidney beans and ochre. If it’s a fancy meal , it’s then followed by another ear of corn cooked on the fire.

Kids wander around with corn in their hands all day long. It’s more than food. It’s their main interest, favorite hobby, a comfort, consumes all their days and they don’t want to even think about changing that. They identify themselves with corn somehow. I cooked pasta the other night with lots of vegetables and sausages. We ate in the dark and slowly I could see all the pasta bowls full and they were sneaking nsima instead. Caroline thought it was ok and so did Krisi and Spencer but the rest wanted the usual. Their diet is seriously lacking in protein and you can see it in all the kids’ huge bellies. But what to do???? They don’t have a choice but to eat corn. There’s no cash to buy anything different and nothing for sale. Then there’s the issue of them wanting to change their diets and they clearly don’t want it. I brought lots of vegetables on Saturday and they are not popular and cost a fortune.

Wow! That was an unloading.....sorry about that!

I hope you're well and happy and have a variety of food in your bellies! Eat some meat and veg for me!

March 15 Measuring Strength

march 15,

In my home in Copenhagen, it's measured by who has the best 6 pack. I am so sillly i even try to enter into the competition!!! ( i'm having computer problems, so i'm sorry for the strange font size.....)

I woke up this morning thinking I was pretty great. Going to bed last night I felt horrible from the heat, like I was in shock, nauseous and dizzy thinking I had malaria despite taking my pills but I calmly lay there and fell asleep. I am amazed how calm I am. I was taking a cold shower outside (a bucket bath really) in the dark when frogs jumped on my legs and feet and I didn’t even flinch. That’s not like me. Anyway….when I woke in the morning feeling fine, I thought I could handle anything else. I was tough.

HUH!! I emerged triumphant out of my room and greeted Krisi who was wearing her shirt inside out and looking a wreck. She was bit in the night by a scorpion, her shirt was inside out which is very out of character for her, and she was staggering around trying to get through her chores. She was in a lot of pain so another woman came to help her fetch the water. (I am not allowed to help because it would be seen as a weakness in her if I had to carry water. Her status in the village goes up as the host family and she has to keep up all appearances. I’m learning there’s a lot of gossip and chatter about who’s got

more of what. Typical grown up behavior for all cultures.) I, being so stupid, thought she would die, but all she wanted was a couple of aspirin, which I have a supply of, and she turned her shirt, stood up as straight as she could and continued. (Oh, how I can’t wait to show you her face! She’s lovely!)

Later in the afternoon, after a failed meeting- no one showed up – we were invited to a lunch in another village. As Mbuzi – the translator – and I sat waiting for the food, I commented on what a big house our hostess had. We then began to discuss how no matter what we have in life we always want more. We never reach our goals because we stupidly keep setting them further and further away. This house was the biggest I’ve seen. When the woman arrived with the food, I praised her nice house and you know what she said? ‘It’s not big enough! It should have been bigger.’ Hmmmph. She had the hugest house in the village surrounded by mud huts – she had a corrugated roof and several rooms, her neighbors had one room with thatched roofs. Why are we never satisfied? (I’m sure your imagination configured a modest house with furniture, a kitchen etc. This ‘huge’ house still had mud floors, an indoor fire on the floor for a kitchen, no light, no plumbing, buckets for a sink, NO FURNITURE, was dark and was shared with chickens and what ever else crept in through the many open spaces.)

And the day rolls on……when we returned home I found my little secretary was hot with malaria. ( My secretary is a little girl of 3 ½ years named Caroline. She follows me around and I give her a pad and pen like mine. She’s the granddaughter of Krisi.) She was miserable, hot and threw up. I kept asking about medicine and no one would give me a straight answer. I asked about taking her to the clinic but got a thousand different reasons why it wouldn’t work. I offered to ride her and her mother on the back of the bike and got another million excuses. I can’t figure this out. I don’t care about my program for tomorrow and told them Caroline was our top job. I think we’re going to take her on the bike at 6am. I heard so many stories and plans it was amazing. One plan was that I take her alone the 6 kilometer journey through a zillion villages but I am no good with directions even with a map so that was out. How strange would that be – a white woman showing up with Caroline – where’s the mother? (I haven’t seen another white person in any of the villages. There was someone here a few years ago who they still talk about) I’m in my net for the night and still don’t know what the plan is. I’m really confused or is malaria just like the scorpion bite? Just ‘suck it up’, as Jack says.

So, lessons learned: I am definitely not the tough one here just more confused.

Hope you’re well and happy…….xxxxxooooooo and counting our good fortunes?!

I'm On Internet....for the moment.....

Hi!!!

I'm in the internet cafe in Blantyre having a day off. Nice to be alone.

So there has been some good news in the area. The government has declared the area in need as a result of the drought and they're going to start giving aid!!!!!! Oh my god!!!!!! SOoooooo goooooood!!!!! I can't beleive it! I had no idea how this story would end or what the powers were to fix it. So hurray for the Malawi gevernment to keep them alive for anóther year and the NGO's can keep working toward sustainable development. I did my bit today too. I bought 100 kilos of flour for the new bakery. And it's not cheap here. Not at all. Almost as bad as Denmark.

I've been given a little shopping list from the host family consisting of a new lock with 3 keys, a 5 liter bucket and some Easy Black Hair Dye!!! On my list I have fruit, fruit and fruit which is not available in the village. I'm also going to make dinner tonight on the fire. I'll get pasta which costs a fortune but should be fun for a change. I'll also have to get forks since they eat with their fingers. but hey, spagetti with fingers could be fun. Sausages too. We've only had chicken once and it was a little guy - i met him in the morning - that lasted 8 people 2 days.

Ok. I'm off to explore this new town. ANd find a cup of coffee.

One more note. I think the biggest hardship so far, beside the skirt issue, is not having coffee. I had headaches and couldn't wake up. I received an emergency can of instant and life changed immediately. So next time it goes in my suitcase along with the toilet paper!

I miss everyone especially Jack Oliver and Sofia......so so much.

The Job

and a bit more….

The job of collecting information has been made incredibly easy by my host family and the newly formed HAP committee. On my first day of culture shock I met with village chiefs and the HAP committee where a program was made on my behalf. I was told by my advisor it would be difficult to interview 15 people in a month but I’ve only been here 1 week and I’ve interviewed over 20 and had 2 focus group discussions, visited farms, seen goat keeping, tree planting project, wells, dams, bee hives and hundreds of people and heard songs, stories and seen many dances. ‘The Program’ is carefully planned by passing notes through many children’s hands across the villages. When we arrive we are always greeted with songs and dances, followed by the many welcome speeches from the important people in the villages. We gather under a tree with all the chairs in the village put forth in our honor. I have really appreciated all their efforts and it’s made my job ever so easy.

We get between the villages on foot or by bike in the amazing heat…..now I will digress and give a few gripes……I have to ride the bike and perform everything I do bound up in a wrap or skirt WHICH I THOUROOUGHLY HATE!!! I like shorts – short shorts so I can take long strides, ride mountain bike etc, this get-up cramps my style and is so HOT. And god forbid my knee should escape, which causes Mr Ngalu, my host , to tell me to fix my skirt. I have noticed there aren’t any other women riding bikes and I wonder why. It’s not easy with a damn skirt on. Today I stopped the bike and asked him if it were better if we walked because I could do no better with the bloody skirt so if he had a problem we should just walk. God I simply hate being told what to wear and how to wear it. I have managed absolutely everything else I am not used to but this could become a real problem…….and while I’m at it…..the bike’s handle bars move at will as does the seat and they are worried about my knees showing????? Did I mention the breaks don’t work? But keep your skirt in order!

Back to the job….. today I interviewed 6 people. One woman, a typical woman that I meet had 8 children living in her house plus 2 orphans and no husband. She can’t go to the store to buy food because she has no money and there is no store anyway. She has to go and collect corn from her fields, carry it home, take all the kernel off the cobs by hand, dry it for 3 days in the sun, take it on her head to the mill to be ground – provided there is power. This is only part of her day. She also has to fetch water, cook all the meal s– which is always the same – nsema – a hard cooked corn porridge. (Which I have eaten everyday 2 times a day for a week, makes for a rather hard stomach, like eating bricks.) She has to cook everything on a fire which means collecting firewood cutting it and keeping the fire going all the time. Can you imagine hanging around a fire when it’s 85 degrees? The women smell of smoke all the time. She also has to do the dishes, wash the clothes by hand…. I can’t even think of all of her tasks. This woman, Unice, looked tired but she didn’t complain about anything except her hunger. She thanked me for coming, she was hopeful for the help she might receive from the NGO and grateful for what she had already received. They never complain except of drought, floods and hunger. Part of the HAP standard is to get them to speak up and complain, to take more ownership of the projects – all working towards empowerment.(oh my word, a breeze came through!)

I ask questions about their participation in projects and awareness of the organization giving the aid. And what they get from me is to be heard. They all have a story and want to share it. They do it with pride and dignity- never pity. I take their photos which is the high point and they can see themselves immediately after. They love this and laugh and laugh. They’re hopeful when a new face arrives with hope for improving their situation. They often ask me directly what I can do for them to get through this coming year and I have to tell them I don’t have any answers but offer them encouragement that together we can all sort something out. Today we were in an area that has been hit particularly hard and they were so so thin. It’s frightening to see. They’re absolutely terrified.

Another job….every night there’s a growing number of kids coming for English lessons. We gather in the moon light and I’m in heaven. We sing songs and jump around. Yesterday before beginning the lessons, we all took the kernels off a huge sack of corn sitting on mats on the dirt with happy chatter and the busiest, strongest little fingers I’ve seen. I must say I thought I was pretty good at it too! The number of kids has grown to around 70 and it’s getting a little tough to keep them from pushing each other around. We shall see how many show up tomorrow.
I have always had a dream that I would be standing in the hot African sun, barefoot in the dirt with kids all around. So there you have it, whatever your religion,…….ask, believe and you shall receive. I’m so grateful to be here. But in my dream I’m wearing shorts. I should file a complaint!

Well and happy??????

Daily LIfe

The days here are long and ever so hot. Krisi, the woman of the house wakes at 5 before the roosters crow, the rest of us awake at 5:30. It’s barely light out but the chores begin. Her job is the hardest I’ve seen. It’s non- stop, 7 days a week. (If she were to rest, I think the world would stop. She is the motor and power behind everything. People just wait for her to guide them and provide for them. Although the other 'people' instruct her on what she should be doing they don't have a clue how to do it themselves. If she didn't do the work these 'people' would be totally stuck.) ....

She begins by fetching water from the well about 300 meters away by carrying bucket after bucket on her head. I accompanied her on the first day but have not had the right timing to catch her since. I managed a full bucket- ok, ¾ full - and didn’t spill a drop. It‘s easier than I thought. She then begins preparing breakfast by washing the previous night’s dishes, which were very carefully rinsed, stacked and placed in a special place til the sun would provide the light for proper washing. At this point I join the scene and we begin the careful scrubbing of every crevice and crack in the tin plates and aluminum pans. We use our fingers and palms of our hands to scrub and rub them clean. If this isn’t sufficient we then grab a pinch of dirt and scrub it in. If all else fails there’s always some reeds tied in neat bundles to serve as a scrubber brush. The rinse cycle I find the most difficult as every drop of water and every clump of dirt has to find its appropriate place without mixing or waste.

About Krisi - she’s my age, strong, petit, super smart and determined. In her every move she is so careful, slow, graceful, and strong and full of purpose that never ends. I can’t say enough about how I respect her and her ways. She runs an amazing house. It is clean and organized and does it with pride and is never unkind, complains or shows how tired she much be although I see it in her smoke filled eyes. And her dishes are way cleaner than mine after a pots and pan cycle in the dish washer and gallons of water- She uses fingers and a pinch of soap and sand and gets the job done better.

An African woman who lives in a mud hut, with no running water, no electricity, about 5 kids of her own plus the children of her deceased sister who has died of suffering, as they call it, has to be among one of the hardest workers on the planet. I don’t know what to say. It’s beyond my understanding. I interviewed 2 such women today. They had babies suckling the whole time and looked tired but were still happy to help me with my little project. I just can’t imagine. The entire community is not much better off and they all support one another in whatever way they can. Everyone here seems to work together. The stories I hear most often are of helping each other and sharing what’s around. These people have integrity and pride. They stand up straight, smile from their hearts, have the most polite manners and customs, are gentle to all, look after all children, have well behaved kids, are incredibly hard working and want to improve their situation. It’s just the dam flood-drought cycle they’re caught up in. If the crop were good this year it would look like a little heaven on earth.

Hope you're all well and happy!

Everybody Is A Star!

And now it’s my turn!

What fun! My goodness, I never travel alone, but have escorts and followers at all times. People come running from their houses to stare or say hello. The news travels ahead of us and the crowds are there waiting when I arrived dripping with sweat and ever so glamorous. ( By the way, the look is big, fat, clumsy, clammy and white! I don’t even have a tan yet! And my clothes are simply all wrong. I brought camping clothes – worn stuff, t-shirts – but they want me to look like the star and I can’t pull it off in the fashion department this time. Shoot!!!! I’ve missed my chance!)

I receive a crowd of 50 children from 3 – 16 every night under the full moon and stars and teach them English. They know very little so we mostly play games and lots of singing. I even do solos! They couldn’t ne kinder and don’t laugh at me – they are now putting the African harmony on it and soon I will be drowned out to all of our joy. So far we’ve done Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, The Wheels On The Bus, I See the Moon and Mary Had a Little Lamb. If you have any suggestions please add a comment – I’m desperate! ….And the crowd grows daily.

As for life as a star…..I shake about 50 hands a day, have to remember the names of all my new friends – about 50 and look happy to see everyone. I have to get up in front of the church and dance, dance at meetings, speak at meetings in front of entire villages (I’m sure the translator gives his own improved version which I just love. I speak for 2 minutes, he then translates it into a 10 minute speech) and I have been asked to give a sermon in church next week. I agreed only if I get the same deal on translations – and WHAT do I know about god and WHAT can you say to people about god who about to enter into one of their worst years and are desperate? Do send your thoughts please….

The down side of stardom is that, to be honest, I don’t always feel happy to shake another hand, especially in this heat. Sometimes it would be nice to be alone and not have everyone look at every word I write or watch me returning from the pit latrine!

Ok. Time to hide behind my shades!.........

How and What To Give

I have come with a few, a very few goodies in my bag for the kids, but they remain in my bag. How can you give to one and not the others? And they have no place to put anything. They have no furniture to keep junk. Their possessions are carefully used, not stored away.

Anyway…. I found a place where I know whatever I have to give will be put to great use. There’s an NGO here setting up ovens for baking bread. The idea is for a group of women to form a little bakery and sell their buns at the market and in the village (which could be hard since no one has a job – they usually just take care of the maize – so there’s hardly any cash around at all. God, it’s really awful, yet they have such dignity)….so the idea is that these incredibly hard working women will start a business. I am so excited by this project and will buy them enough flour to get going - enough to fill the outdoor bakery shelves. I arrived at the same time as the bakery. A gorgeous wood burning stove had just been put in the middle of the village and baking classes are being given. The women here give me much hope and gladness. I’ll tell you more about these amazing ladies later…..
I hope you’re all well and happy and learning……I am!

Waste Not, Want Not

Waste not want not.....not always true.

I grew up hearing from my Poppy that if one did not waste, one would not want for anything. I’ve always tried to remember his favorite saying which makes you take notice of your stock, and it always made me see the value of things that would otherwise be thrown away. Well the life in this village does not waste a single crumb. Not a fallen bean or grain of corn is left in the dirt, but picked up by nimble fingers, carefully cleaned and placed back in its basket. These kind people don’t take for granted the smallest of fortune that might cross their path. They save and use any discarded item from bottle caps and plastic bags and containers to old worn shoes - any condition and size will due.

When I first arrived I heard so much at once, including how hard they’ve been hit by the drought. I was busy trying to remember 100 new names and faces, how to greet properly, who’s kids belong to who – and there are loads of them. 6 kids being the average number per family. Plus they often have invited an orphan or two into the family. Anyway…. I was busy taking in a million new faces, ideas, sounds, smells tastes, manners, etc that I guess I didn’t fully get the desperation in their stories of drought. I was initially taken only by their kindness and generosity and I thought they couldn’t be so hungry if they all looked so happy. I was fed well and it seemed there was enough food to go around but I’ve learned that if I don’t eat my usual amount, manners are put aside and the food is very quickly gone- I’ve also seen the rules of motherhood apply here as well. Kids get their fill first. All adults keep slipping food onto the children’s plates until they are satisfied. The little kids in this village seem to be better off than the rest. So now I see a bit clearer that they are thin - really, really thin, their beautiful high cheekbones are also cause d by sunken cheeks and their eyes are sinking too.

The maize crop is totally dead. It’s obvious when you look in the fields. There’s nothing to harvest and this is the time of year they should be filling the storage with enough to last until next year and they can’t even eat anything now. It’s really crazy. They go out to the fields and come back with a handful of corn stalks, they pick it as it ripens or before. It will soon be gone and there’s nothing left.

There are a lot of NGOs here hard at work on many different types of projects. ELDS, the partner organization working with DCA is putting in wells, helping with reforestation, bee hives, giving goats, running education programs etc. I’ve been to villages waiting for the wells to be dug where they still have to fetch water from the river and suffer from cholera and diarrhea like mad. The villages with clean water are in much better shape.

Despite their hardships they manage to be so friendly, hopeful and have welcomed me here warmly. There’s so much more to tell…..I have no internet so when this reaches you, it will be followed by many more as I upload them all in the internet cafe when ever I get there.

I am writing at night under the mosiquito net, surrounded by thousands of new bugs that are also curious about me. I’m off to sleep…..
I hope you’re all well and happy!

March 3

HI!!!!



I made it!! The flights were all on time, good company, an hour of sleep and 20 hours later I arrived in the warm and soft African air. Mmmmmm.



Although I've only been on safari in Kenya for a week, it all feels familiar. I'm a sucker for people who smile and they do it beautifully here. On the first day I met the office staff and Lennart from Denmark, who is in charge. I'm also staying in his home in Lilongwe the capital city,until Thursday. Then I head for the south to stay with a family in a small village which is apparently hit hard by the recent flood and now the dry, hot spell. They are waiting for the harvest which is in another month.


Today is a holiday so we made a party of it and drove to Lake Malawi which was a great start to my working career - lounging by the pool and swimming in the beautiful lake with billowing clouds over head which didn't shed a drop. It was a gorgeous day with good company. I went with Lennart and the house husband of another employee and his baby. The conversations are so interesting with people who have lived and worked in so many different countries in Africa.

I learned a lot today. For example....only 4% of Malawians use electricity and in my 24 hours of being here, it's already shut off once. (The dam gets clogged with lilly-pads) Malawi needs 2.5 million tons of maize -corn every year to feed itself. Only 20% of the land is fertile. The rest is either too rocky, too hilly or depleted. It's totally green everywhere you look, yet the crops die without the subsidized fertilizers. There's water everywhere - rivers, ground water - but crops dry up as soon as the rainy season is over - no developed irrigation systems. There is a tree here that grows to over 1,000 years old and looks like it's upside down called the Baobab. The main and favorite food is a hard porridge made from maize. I'll be living on it for the next 3 1/2 weeks and ever so happy about it cause it's gluten free!!



OK. I'm off to bed. Big day at the office tomorrow!!! (I've always wanted to say that!)



Hope you're all well and happy..... I AM!!



hugs,

Nina
ps. Something is wrong with the connection and won't let me upload pictures. :( I'll keep trying....