Lucky me! I got to participate as if I belonged to the group and could contribute. Like I had a job! And like being in school. So good!
I’ve always thought since I took a course in San Francisco over 20 years ago called ‘Africa in Global Perspective’ that scholars and students from Africa are incredibly articulate and have a certain way of expressing themselves that is very formal and professional. Now I was in a conference auditorium room with very well educated NGO workers who were sharing their thoughts in their areas of expertise – human rights, HIV/AIDS, agriculture, Relief and Food Security. The meetings ran so elegantly with great sharing of ideas all expressed in that way which is so unfamiliar to me. (I am accustomed to opening my mouth and letting it fly – no planning involved – I did, however, during my village speeches work on this because I could only say about 10 words in a row before stopping for the translation, forcing myself to at least hear what had just come out of my mouth and think about what to say next. I enjoyed that opportunity and being forced to get my act together.)
The first day was all about DCA and the HAP project. The second day was for field visits to some of the partners’ projects. There were 5 different partner organizations attending the meetings. A group was going to visit ‘my’ area and look specifically at the dam project and HAP. Wow! I was so excited to hear what they had to say about it. I got to go to another city called Zomba and meet with a group of religious leaders who are working together to come up with the faith based response to HIV/AIDS that doesn’t sharply contradict one another. These were Muslim and Christian leaders, men and women. It’s a great initiative but from what our group saw, it’s very much at the beginning stages and has a lot left to discuss. Different agendas and politics playing a large role as usual. For example, they expressed a need for training on HIV/AIDS and claimed to not have knowledge in this area. It turns out what they’re after is a training weekend including transportation, lodging food and Fanta. You’d be surprised how much you hear about Fanta. …I know it sounds trivial, but it’s important to them to get these training workshops – it’s their motivation so needs to be understood.
Back at our fancy hotel with Fanta, it was presentation day. Time to hear about ‘my’ project area. The visit was beautifully presented like one of our school presentations …..only a bit better! They saw the hunger and all the various projects being implemented such as bee keeping, goat rearing, tree planting, vegetable gardens, irrigation schemes, etc and they looked for evidence for the HAP project. They agreed it was a complicated problem area. I sat in my seat trying to plan what I would say including a little intro, my interest and motivation – it was going to be good. I listened to a beautiful woman present what they heard from the group of village women who they interviewed for over 2 hours regarding HAP and the projects. She reported that the women were afraid to file a complaint – a very important component of HAP and they had never even heard of HAP!
Oh my god! My ears filled up with clouds and I got sweaty. It was my turn to speak. I was totally confused and said so. No lovely introduction. Probably not even a complete sentence. But I had my tape recorder with me and played a recorded song the women had sung for me – THOSE VERY SAME WOMEN. The song was about HAP – all about HAP, details about HAP, what it meant and how it was going to bring change. I didn’t mean to be rude to the presenter but I was just genuinely, totally confused. Who had been taken for a ride – me or the women conducting the discussion?
In retrospect, it was an appropriate summation of what goes on in the village. Politics politics and politics. They play a lot of games down there in that particular little area. I don’t know why. I don’t know what motivated those women to lie to the NGO. What did they want from them? (What did they want from me?) They’re professionals at working the system – they’ve been at it for decades. The local field worker later told me that those particular people don’t seem to want to change. There is another group of displaced people where they’re also implementing the HAP standard and they’ve seen a great improvement. The other group has no one particular player with his own agenda – which my friend Zimba plainly calls sabotage.
After I played the recording everything got kind of quiet. What was going on? They then recalled how the secretary from HAP who was at the discussion kept saying to the women, ’Come on, you know HAP. We’ve just been talking about it. Don’t you remember?’ and they all denied it. WHY????? (in case you’re wondering, Krisi was never one of the women in these groups, nor was she at the going away party. They lived in another village - a stones throw away but outside the NGOs area. And Spencer wouldn’t allow her to join us.)
Later at lunch many people commented on the recording and thought it was pretty great. It showed the complexity of issues and problems one faces when working in the villages. There’s no simple solution but I do still think the HAP and its focus on accountability is an excellent place to start. And shame on those women for lying….or shame on the men for telling the women to lie…..or what?? I think I could spend a year there and still not get the politics.
I hope you're all well and happy!!!! :-)
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Family Photos
starting with the handsome man at the top - that's Coma, the oldest son. Then there's Eveline, Caroline, Krisi and Andy. Have I mentioned him before? He's a wonderful little boy who loves to hunt grasshoppers with a bow and arrow. The 'arrow' is 6 wires which cage the grasshopper. Have I mentioned they taste nice when sauted in oil and salt. Qhite crunchy! Next is Spencer, followed by Krisi.
Monday, 30 March 2009
March 25 - time to go.....
March 25
Oh how sad…. I’ve left the village and my friends!
We had a great dance party - pictures to follow.... some day. A village style party is not different to the numerous meetings I attended which have the following protocol. They all begin with brief introductions from the secretary followed by more in depth introductions made usually by Spencer. During his speeches he includes more detail about each person present and their numerous titles. (One person will hold many titles on many different committees.) This usually takes up a large chunk of time. I interpret this part as the I stoke your back, you stroke mine and I've started to play along. As Spencer's descriptions of me change and get more flattering and fun, I also change my speeches of gratitude and include stories of wonderful meals and good company. So our party started in this usual manner and there were many in attendance so introductions took a while.
The next event was the women dancing. The music is made by clapping and singing. The older women taking the alto parts and the young women take the higher notes. They turn all songs into a wonderful harmony following one leader and everyone knows their parts and where to stand. Each song has a particular dance which is danced by one person standing in the center of the ring. I was often asked to join in the center and had no trouble following the steps which pleased us all. And so we danced. One by one. The men kept trying to end this portion of the party but I took advantage of my confused gender role and said No! We were going to continue! The more they complained I would encourage them to join until finally there were a few embarrassed men in our ring and we loved it! It was good fun! And made for a lot of good gossip!
Afterwards we wandered ever so slowly home and shared the cokes with passers by. A nice warm afternoon.
For our last dinner together we had a chicken donated from the bakery women. Spencer and I had another nip of banana wine and told secrets. He told me the head of the HAP committee was the one to let the water out of the dam cause it was flooding his garden so he ruined the water supply for all the gardens for the year. :-( We discovered it was him behind no one showing up for the meetings. He didn't deliver all the hand written messages so no one knew about our meetings at the dam. He's a very twinkly charismatic guy - easy to like, but not to be trusted. So sad. And Spencer is so honest and tries so hard to get things going. He worked so hard to organise the program and get people to be on time.
It was a warm day inside and out. A really nice cozy ending to our time together. And as we often did at the end of the hot day, we lay together on the mat under the stars and drifted off to sleep. So good.
So I've left the village but am way too involved to ever leave it completely. I have so much more to tell and will now be involved with them at another level. Please don't give up on us yet - on the blog - there are so many more fun things to tell about the life there and I need to write it down, so please keep reading.....
What I said and believed last week about the government starting a food distribution program never happened. I’m now at the regional meetings for DCAs partners and am impressed that they’re interested in my experiences and surprised to hear how hungry the people are. The facilitator who works so hard in the area is exhausted and I think has lost his voice. He’s out of energy. He drives into the areas everyday and is bombarded with complaints of hunger and requests for food. The people have become completely dependent on the NGO to provide them with all answers and food. They call it Dependency Syndrome. I’ve seen it. But what to do????? No one at the meeting seems to have an answer, but I think I might be giving those people an extra voice and the director is really listening to me. He was surprised to hear what I had to say. He didn’t know it was so bad. I wonder if the government knows. It seems the villagers dependency on the ngo has made them forget that it’s the Malawian government who is ultimately responsible for them and they forget to complain through those official channels – which begin with the Village Chiefs. The chiefs seemed less powerful than the local NGO village volunteers.
As for my project….. I do think the HAP standard (Humanitarian Accountability Partnership) has made a positive impact on the beneficiaries. It’s the beginning of making THEM accountable to THEMSELVES! Now there’s a twist. It’s supposed to make the NGO’s accountable to the beneficiaries. But I see the only way forward is to get them to stand on their own feet, run their own programs and stop depending on the NGO for aid and motivation. They need to be empowered to take charge, have ideas and own them, ask for help when needed but to fuel themselves so the NGOs can begin to exit. The addition of the HAP standard to the programs has begun to get more involvement out of the people by handing over much more information and responsibility to the people.
I think I would like to continue to work with HAP in some way. My next course which starts mid April is in sustainable recovery and I will have so much more to offer this time and look forward to many discussions and reading assignments. It has all come to light! Or is it all darker?? Still a bit confused!
but well and happy....and a little sad.....
Oh how sad…. I’ve left the village and my friends!
We had a great dance party - pictures to follow.... some day. A village style party is not different to the numerous meetings I attended which have the following protocol. They all begin with brief introductions from the secretary followed by more in depth introductions made usually by Spencer. During his speeches he includes more detail about each person present and their numerous titles. (One person will hold many titles on many different committees.) This usually takes up a large chunk of time. I interpret this part as the I stoke your back, you stroke mine and I've started to play along. As Spencer's descriptions of me change and get more flattering and fun, I also change my speeches of gratitude and include stories of wonderful meals and good company. So our party started in this usual manner and there were many in attendance so introductions took a while.
The next event was the women dancing. The music is made by clapping and singing. The older women taking the alto parts and the young women take the higher notes. They turn all songs into a wonderful harmony following one leader and everyone knows their parts and where to stand. Each song has a particular dance which is danced by one person standing in the center of the ring. I was often asked to join in the center and had no trouble following the steps which pleased us all. And so we danced. One by one. The men kept trying to end this portion of the party but I took advantage of my confused gender role and said No! We were going to continue! The more they complained I would encourage them to join until finally there were a few embarrassed men in our ring and we loved it! It was good fun! And made for a lot of good gossip!
Afterwards we wandered ever so slowly home and shared the cokes with passers by. A nice warm afternoon.
For our last dinner together we had a chicken donated from the bakery women. Spencer and I had another nip of banana wine and told secrets. He told me the head of the HAP committee was the one to let the water out of the dam cause it was flooding his garden so he ruined the water supply for all the gardens for the year. :-( We discovered it was him behind no one showing up for the meetings. He didn't deliver all the hand written messages so no one knew about our meetings at the dam. He's a very twinkly charismatic guy - easy to like, but not to be trusted. So sad. And Spencer is so honest and tries so hard to get things going. He worked so hard to organise the program and get people to be on time.
It was a warm day inside and out. A really nice cozy ending to our time together. And as we often did at the end of the hot day, we lay together on the mat under the stars and drifted off to sleep. So good.
So I've left the village but am way too involved to ever leave it completely. I have so much more to tell and will now be involved with them at another level. Please don't give up on us yet - on the blog - there are so many more fun things to tell about the life there and I need to write it down, so please keep reading.....
What I said and believed last week about the government starting a food distribution program never happened. I’m now at the regional meetings for DCAs partners and am impressed that they’re interested in my experiences and surprised to hear how hungry the people are. The facilitator who works so hard in the area is exhausted and I think has lost his voice. He’s out of energy. He drives into the areas everyday and is bombarded with complaints of hunger and requests for food. The people have become completely dependent on the NGO to provide them with all answers and food. They call it Dependency Syndrome. I’ve seen it. But what to do????? No one at the meeting seems to have an answer, but I think I might be giving those people an extra voice and the director is really listening to me. He was surprised to hear what I had to say. He didn’t know it was so bad. I wonder if the government knows. It seems the villagers dependency on the ngo has made them forget that it’s the Malawian government who is ultimately responsible for them and they forget to complain through those official channels – which begin with the Village Chiefs. The chiefs seemed less powerful than the local NGO village volunteers.
As for my project….. I do think the HAP standard (Humanitarian Accountability Partnership) has made a positive impact on the beneficiaries. It’s the beginning of making THEM accountable to THEMSELVES! Now there’s a twist. It’s supposed to make the NGO’s accountable to the beneficiaries. But I see the only way forward is to get them to stand on their own feet, run their own programs and stop depending on the NGO for aid and motivation. They need to be empowered to take charge, have ideas and own them, ask for help when needed but to fuel themselves so the NGOs can begin to exit. The addition of the HAP standard to the programs has begun to get more involvement out of the people by handing over much more information and responsibility to the people.
I think I would like to continue to work with HAP in some way. My next course which starts mid April is in sustainable recovery and I will have so much more to offer this time and look forward to many discussions and reading assignments. It has all come to light! Or is it all darker?? Still a bit confused!
but well and happy....and a little sad.....
March 22 There's A Hole In The Bucket Dear Krisi
As you can see, my rose colored shades have fallen off….
At home I complain about things that don’t work or cause me delay or frustration such as traffic and trains not on schedule or the store running out of something I want. Next time I’m inconvenienced I will try to remember this day. I‘m leaving the village tomorrow so there’s going to be a farewell party in the village. They know I love to dance so that will be our main event. I have bought a crate of coke for those who will follow us back to the house. Getting the crate here was much more of a hassle than the cost. We started out carrying it between us but half way through we rearranged so I got to carry a baby on my back African style and the crate was popped onto the mommy’s head and we proceeded.
Now starts the trouble…..water. I followed Krisi to the well – which I now am allowed to do – to discover the pump was broken. We continued walking to another spot to collect water from a hole where there was a group gathered – the hole was dry. We proceeded to 2 more wells and with the 3rd we had success. But where were we now? Far from home. We scrubbed and filled our buckets and popped them on our heads to head back home. (by the way, pumping the water is more strenuous than carrying it home. It's a real work out!) The painful walk – almost a kilometer – gave me plenty of time to think about how different my life is simply cause I was born into a well off American family. I have so much to be grateful for…..But back to the village – what to do? How will the village get the money to fix the pump. The government takes no responsibility for the villages. I have given half of my possessions and am leaving all my medicines. I secretly hand out money to those daring enough to whisper requests in private. But what good does it do? How will it help them next week? It’s so complicated. And do they really want to give up this village life where when the corn processing for the day is over, your only job – if you’re a man – is to lie around and chat and plan meetings.
One of the water buckets is cracking. I watched Krisi and Spencer just looking at the bucket on the ground. (EVERYTHING is on the ground as there are no counter tops, tables, chairs etc. Just a portable mat you move around as needed.) They had nothing to say. What could they do? It’s crazy – they have no income. They live off the land and shop for very little – but what to do when the land failed to produce this year? They need cash for a new bucket, for food. Where on earth will it come from?
I spent yesterday talking to the field facilitator about working in this area. I wondered why cotton, a drought resistant cash crop, wasn’t more popular. He said they had done a study and it caused trouble in the households by giving the men cash and caused them to spend time in the markets which left the women out of the loop. The men like to drink a bit if they get a little cash. I don’t think I got the whole story, but it was evident it went deeper into their family and social structures than simply switching crops.
The plot get mores complicated all the time. I understand more.... and less every day. At first I thought it was simple, there's water everywhere under ground and the powerful Shire River (not sure how to spell that) is not far away. So they just need to get the water up somehow. Then i learn about the politics of the dam project. I think change crops. They don't want to change crops. Empower the women, plant trees, grow vegetables, keep bees, goats - all these things are happening but they're long term solutions - there is no solution for this year. But why haven't the goats and bees started to generate income after the 3 years they've had them. I think it's politics - local politics, family politics and the village lifestyle that are slow to change. And they're used to getting aid for free. What to do??
Got any ideas??
I'm going to keep thinking about it.....
At home I complain about things that don’t work or cause me delay or frustration such as traffic and trains not on schedule or the store running out of something I want. Next time I’m inconvenienced I will try to remember this day. I‘m leaving the village tomorrow so there’s going to be a farewell party in the village. They know I love to dance so that will be our main event. I have bought a crate of coke for those who will follow us back to the house. Getting the crate here was much more of a hassle than the cost. We started out carrying it between us but half way through we rearranged so I got to carry a baby on my back African style and the crate was popped onto the mommy’s head and we proceeded.
Now starts the trouble…..water. I followed Krisi to the well – which I now am allowed to do – to discover the pump was broken. We continued walking to another spot to collect water from a hole where there was a group gathered – the hole was dry. We proceeded to 2 more wells and with the 3rd we had success. But where were we now? Far from home. We scrubbed and filled our buckets and popped them on our heads to head back home. (by the way, pumping the water is more strenuous than carrying it home. It's a real work out!) The painful walk – almost a kilometer – gave me plenty of time to think about how different my life is simply cause I was born into a well off American family. I have so much to be grateful for…..But back to the village – what to do? How will the village get the money to fix the pump. The government takes no responsibility for the villages. I have given half of my possessions and am leaving all my medicines. I secretly hand out money to those daring enough to whisper requests in private. But what good does it do? How will it help them next week? It’s so complicated. And do they really want to give up this village life where when the corn processing for the day is over, your only job – if you’re a man – is to lie around and chat and plan meetings.
One of the water buckets is cracking. I watched Krisi and Spencer just looking at the bucket on the ground. (EVERYTHING is on the ground as there are no counter tops, tables, chairs etc. Just a portable mat you move around as needed.) They had nothing to say. What could they do? It’s crazy – they have no income. They live off the land and shop for very little – but what to do when the land failed to produce this year? They need cash for a new bucket, for food. Where on earth will it come from?
I spent yesterday talking to the field facilitator about working in this area. I wondered why cotton, a drought resistant cash crop, wasn’t more popular. He said they had done a study and it caused trouble in the households by giving the men cash and caused them to spend time in the markets which left the women out of the loop. The men like to drink a bit if they get a little cash. I don’t think I got the whole story, but it was evident it went deeper into their family and social structures than simply switching crops.
The plot get mores complicated all the time. I understand more.... and less every day. At first I thought it was simple, there's water everywhere under ground and the powerful Shire River (not sure how to spell that) is not far away. So they just need to get the water up somehow. Then i learn about the politics of the dam project. I think change crops. They don't want to change crops. Empower the women, plant trees, grow vegetables, keep bees, goats - all these things are happening but they're long term solutions - there is no solution for this year. But why haven't the goats and bees started to generate income after the 3 years they've had them. I think it's politics - local politics, family politics and the village lifestyle that are slow to change. And they're used to getting aid for free. What to do??
Got any ideas??
I'm going to keep thinking about it.....
March 20 - More on Maize
March 20 More on Maize - The cultural addiction
Maize! I surrender! Corn has become the golf game, shopping, gambling, drinking …what else?...It’s everything that takes people away or consumes then. An escape and an addiction, something you can’t imagine life without. I now see it as a cultural addiction. It has so many functions within the family and community. There is not one person left out of the corn culture – from planting to consumption- there’s a job for everyone. Everyone is brought together in the care of the corn.
It begins with men and women together turning the soil and preparing the beds. In this family it’s the job of the man to plant the seeds and the women to cover it with soil. Then they wait for the rains to come which are expected from Dec – March. During this time the farmers weed and wait for the harvest. This year the rains came as scheduled but abruptly stopped at the end of January and any rain that falls now is of no use. The corn is already dried and what they harvest will only last a month or two…
At present, it’s harvest, a poor harvest, but still a lot of work. The men leave for the gardens when the roosters crow which is usually within a kilometer from the house and return with a sac of corn on their heads. In this house both Coma (29 yr old son) and Spencer take care of this chore. Today Coma made 2 trips alone.
Then the kernels have to be removed from the cob. People gather and passers-by join on the mat to begin manually pushing the kernels off the cobs and onto the mat. This is such a nice activity and there is always good chatter. The conversations yesterday were about a witch hunter who is travelling through the villages and everyone is quite scared. He apparently receives money from the village head who collects about 20 cents per household to rid the village of witches – men or women who have stopped the rains from falling. Apparently this has caused many to spend from dawn to dusk hiding in their gardens. I must say I feel a bit uneasy myself. I asked what the village does with their witches and didn’t get a clear answer, but it was not good.
Once the kernels are removed they need several days in the sun drying on mats before they can are taken to the mill. Everywhere you go you see corn drying on roofs or on mats on the ground.
Some other uses- the cobs and husks are used as pot holders. The cobs are also used as fuel and toilet paper. The wandering herds of goats nibble on the cobs or get a cob thrown at them if they’re getting into the kernels.
I guess all I’m saying is that maize would be a hard habit to break, but given its non drought resilient nature, I think they had better start rethinking their days. Not easy for any of us.
Oh How I hope you're all well and happy!!
xxoo
Nina
ps. i've found a good remedy for eating corn bricks 2ce a day....a banana wine. which is why you're all now getting hugs and kisses. i'm a little tipsy.... :-)
Maize! I surrender! Corn has become the golf game, shopping, gambling, drinking …what else?...It’s everything that takes people away or consumes then. An escape and an addiction, something you can’t imagine life without. I now see it as a cultural addiction. It has so many functions within the family and community. There is not one person left out of the corn culture – from planting to consumption- there’s a job for everyone. Everyone is brought together in the care of the corn.
It begins with men and women together turning the soil and preparing the beds. In this family it’s the job of the man to plant the seeds and the women to cover it with soil. Then they wait for the rains to come which are expected from Dec – March. During this time the farmers weed and wait for the harvest. This year the rains came as scheduled but abruptly stopped at the end of January and any rain that falls now is of no use. The corn is already dried and what they harvest will only last a month or two…
At present, it’s harvest, a poor harvest, but still a lot of work. The men leave for the gardens when the roosters crow which is usually within a kilometer from the house and return with a sac of corn on their heads. In this house both Coma (29 yr old son) and Spencer take care of this chore. Today Coma made 2 trips alone.
Then the kernels have to be removed from the cob. People gather and passers-by join on the mat to begin manually pushing the kernels off the cobs and onto the mat. This is such a nice activity and there is always good chatter. The conversations yesterday were about a witch hunter who is travelling through the villages and everyone is quite scared. He apparently receives money from the village head who collects about 20 cents per household to rid the village of witches – men or women who have stopped the rains from falling. Apparently this has caused many to spend from dawn to dusk hiding in their gardens. I must say I feel a bit uneasy myself. I asked what the village does with their witches and didn’t get a clear answer, but it was not good.
Once the kernels are removed they need several days in the sun drying on mats before they can are taken to the mill. Everywhere you go you see corn drying on roofs or on mats on the ground.
Some other uses- the cobs and husks are used as pot holders. The cobs are also used as fuel and toilet paper. The wandering herds of goats nibble on the cobs or get a cob thrown at them if they’re getting into the kernels.
I guess all I’m saying is that maize would be a hard habit to break, but given its non drought resilient nature, I think they had better start rethinking their days. Not easy for any of us.
Oh How I hope you're all well and happy!!
xxoo
Nina
ps. i've found a good remedy for eating corn bricks 2ce a day....a banana wine. which is why you're all now getting hugs and kisses. i'm a little tipsy.... :-)
Little Observations
Mr Johnston Ngalu, 4 wives, father of 33, aged 89. One son is got his masters degree in engineering in Utah and is running for a seat in parliment on May 19.
Malawi avocados being sold at the market.
I can't stop..... FORGIVE ME!!! The voice in my head won't shut up. I've begun carrying a little notebook to jot down everthing I want to tell you. Cause I think every little thing I see and feel is so important and really believe you want to know about it too. So I appologise for this never ending dialogue that runs in my head, NON STOP, to spill onto the blog. My mom always said I was very obsevant.... and talked a lot. Now I'm learning to write a lot.
I love to see all the differences between here and there, basically what I take for granted as true, which is only my idea of 'true'. FOr example, here in Malawi, an avocado is ripe when the seed inside rattles. In Malawi they're much sweeter and eaten as a fruit with sugar. see picture
You eat the skin on guavas or you'll get a hard stomach, I was told. It tastes nice too.
A 5 year old is a perfect baby sitter to a 1 1/2 year old. The older sibling - usually a girl - even carries them on her back using a cloth. They take the child around the village for the day and the mother never sees the kids til meal time. The children always seem safe as there are many eyes in the village and plenty of dirt to rest on. The kids are definitely raised communally.
Walking can also be done slowly! There's a brother of Spencer who I tease because he walks so slowly it looks as if he's going backwards. I saw someone the other day walking as I usually do - FAST - and she looked so out of place. Everyone commented that that one was in a hurry! I am usually in a hurry.
You don't need a tree to lean on. I know my dad would notice right away that no one grabbed the spot beside the trunk for rest. At first I found sitting so hard. No indian-style allowed for the women in skirts - just straight back and straight legs or side saddle. After I got used to it and also found ways to sneak my legs into cross - leg, I found the tree no longer necessary either. Then there was always an occasional spot on the odd bench or brick or small rock.
Garbage can be disposed of in many ways. Actually, in the village there is no such thing as garbage. They throw their cobs, husks, food scraps and occasional paper or animal remains into the bush. At night the dogs and goats sweep through the area and all that remains are the odd paper wrappings - mostly which I imported and quickly learned to keep in my suitcase. There is very little waste or things that come with packaging but if the markets start carrying more 'junk' they'll have to think about the fact that the paper and foil wrappings are not tasty to the dogs and remain on the ground. Plastic bags and bottles are in demand and used carefully.
Monogamy?? Spencer has 24 siblings (8 passed away) and his father has 3 wives and divorced one. His dad is called Johnston Ngalu, he's 89 years old and is building a new house and planning to buy a car next year. The guy has got energy. He jumps up from the ground when it's time to go and moves every so quickly. He is very sharp and full of humour. See picture
A clean floor is not necessarily without mud. Krisi 'mopped' the floor the other day. What a job. She took two types of dirt - one sandy and one more organic and we mixed them on the floor breaking up the clumps and removing small stones and sticks. I noticed some of the clumps where quite organic! Then you mix it up with water and make clay to be spread evenly over the entire room. It's a really slow process - she took a flat, round stone and 'polished' and leveled the surface for quite some time. The result was lovely - a shiny surface without any protruding stones. With time and daily sweeping the surface begins to disappear and the process has to be repeated every other week - in a good household like Krisi's.
Hot coals are good for keeping the pit latrin smelling fresh. Twice a day is recommended.
Going to the movies....Krisi and I went to the movies 3 times. There's a meeting place right next to her house where the head master runs a program every Friday and Saturday night showing Chinese slap stick fighting movies. She never goes cause she has no money, but with me there she was ever so eager to get inside. It's powered by a generator and a tv and vcr player are carefully carried to the large straw hut. We sat on a 2 inch rail for 2 hours which was SO UNCOMFOPRTABLE and SO HOT in there! Krisi loved it. I learned to fall directly to sleep during our movie nights - not my favorite.
Bananas!! I would say the bananas you buy in europe taste like half a banana. Half the sweetness and half the banana taste. They are simply way better in Malawi!!
I had to drink Krisi's boiled water in my own container which meant it was usally pretty warm, had corn fluff floating in it and tasted like smoke. I was totally healthy the whole time in the village and got a slight traveller stomach only when I stayed in the hotel. I told you she was a great housekeeper!
more later... and there is a lot more for those sticking around.....
Well and happy? If not, take aim and THROW yourself at it full throttle. Nothing to lose! Just time and your life.
:-)
and speaking of wasting time....clutter.....my hair has turned gray and frizzie. The real me has escaped again. So off I go to the beauty parlor to regain a few years in the mirror.
Sunday, 29 March 2009
March 19 - Who Am I?
A good question to meditate on...
I've heard from some wise people, that lifes greatest challenge no matter where you go, will always be the same. You'll meet your own self, your own demons. My enemies aren't the in the insect world, nor in the lack of creature comforts, nor in hard work, nor heat. I carry my garbage around with me but usually ignore it. So what would that be…..a lack of confidence, a lack of focus in details, a general sense of confusion, and this one I hate the most....a lazy mind. Yikes, I hate that one!! This trip also makes me realise how you get challenged by changing your routines and discovering how dependant you are on certain comforts and status symbols you attach yourself to. It makes me think about how many props we have to hold ourselves up and keep up our image. (I guess living in Norrebro has also taught me a bit about that...) Here you have nothing familiar to hold on to and identify with.
And......since I no longer know what i look like - no mirrors - I feel great!! I think beauty is defined differently here and I like it! As for no mirrors, people adjust your collar or remove food from other's faces as needed. It's sweet.
And then there's the question of fitting into a different set of values with different props and symbols. So how do I fit in as a woman living half in the mens' world of meetings and speeches? I have to say I don’t agree with the values system for men and woman and struggle with it. I feel owned by the man of the house. I am taken care of like a precious object, but don’t have many rights. My objects, like my flashlight, have become under his control. He is so kind and harmless but still I really strain to control myself sometimes. He tells me what pictures to take and not take and I have to ask to use my flashlight. I usually ask only to give it to Krisi who is carefully navigating in the pitch black organizing the corn, dishes and doing other chores. (I'm often told to sit and talk with the men while Krisi works - but always sneak away to help her.) She's so happy to use it and it really has changed things for her to be able to see after 6:30pm. She usually doesn’t dare to ask for the light.
The other day I snuck to the little market with Krisi to help her sell her first batch of buns but Spencer appeared shortly after and escorted me back home. He reads all my sms messages over my shoulder and all the notes I take – which keeps everything very objective. I have taken to giving him something to read when I try to read so at least we’re not trying to read the same pages.
It doesn’t feel right to complain about someone who is also being very kind and generous with his time and family. I can see how the women here get stuck and dependant on their men and they’re totally powerless to change anything. Not true. Sometimes they pack up the 6-8 kids and move home to their parents.
The other day I could tell Krisi was upset about something and I managed to find out what. Spencer wouldn’t pay the 30cents for her to collect water from her well of choice (less salty) but made her go to the one she doesn’t like (salty water). She has no money of her own and has to be happy with what ever he says. It is he who decides what she will do during her days – he takes greedily what ever food he wants and leaves the remains for her. I know it’s none of my business but I hate to see him sitting around all day long and her working like a dog. It’s just another cultural difference which I don’t understand cause it’s not part of my upbringing. I can’t imagine what they would question about our habits.
She is so capable, strong and intelligent as with so many women here. There are many NGO’s that try to empower African woman – talk about a capacity! They should and could rule the world! It would be easier than what they do now….
.....as for the bun business. Baking is only part of the project and for them its the easiest. Everyday the buns are perfect, but finding ways to sell them and customers to buy them is difficult. I wish I could talk to her. I hardly ever get to talk to the women as most don't speak english due to not attending school long enough. The money is also challenging for them but they're also very motivated and proud of that aspect.
I'm off.....
Thanks for hanging with me. I know I'm now seeing that life is not perfect here and I feel like I'm complaining - but it isn't perfect. It has it's problems and the more I understand them and get personally involved in them, I guess I want to try and explain how it really is....and feels - cause I'm participating in it all.
I've heard from some wise people, that lifes greatest challenge no matter where you go, will always be the same. You'll meet your own self, your own demons. My enemies aren't the in the insect world, nor in the lack of creature comforts, nor in hard work, nor heat. I carry my garbage around with me but usually ignore it. So what would that be…..a lack of confidence, a lack of focus in details, a general sense of confusion, and this one I hate the most....a lazy mind. Yikes, I hate that one!! This trip also makes me realise how you get challenged by changing your routines and discovering how dependant you are on certain comforts and status symbols you attach yourself to. It makes me think about how many props we have to hold ourselves up and keep up our image. (I guess living in Norrebro has also taught me a bit about that...) Here you have nothing familiar to hold on to and identify with.
And......since I no longer know what i look like - no mirrors - I feel great!! I think beauty is defined differently here and I like it! As for no mirrors, people adjust your collar or remove food from other's faces as needed. It's sweet.
And then there's the question of fitting into a different set of values with different props and symbols. So how do I fit in as a woman living half in the mens' world of meetings and speeches? I have to say I don’t agree with the values system for men and woman and struggle with it. I feel owned by the man of the house. I am taken care of like a precious object, but don’t have many rights. My objects, like my flashlight, have become under his control. He is so kind and harmless but still I really strain to control myself sometimes. He tells me what pictures to take and not take and I have to ask to use my flashlight. I usually ask only to give it to Krisi who is carefully navigating in the pitch black organizing the corn, dishes and doing other chores. (I'm often told to sit and talk with the men while Krisi works - but always sneak away to help her.) She's so happy to use it and it really has changed things for her to be able to see after 6:30pm. She usually doesn’t dare to ask for the light.
The other day I snuck to the little market with Krisi to help her sell her first batch of buns but Spencer appeared shortly after and escorted me back home. He reads all my sms messages over my shoulder and all the notes I take – which keeps everything very objective. I have taken to giving him something to read when I try to read so at least we’re not trying to read the same pages.
It doesn’t feel right to complain about someone who is also being very kind and generous with his time and family. I can see how the women here get stuck and dependant on their men and they’re totally powerless to change anything. Not true. Sometimes they pack up the 6-8 kids and move home to their parents.
The other day I could tell Krisi was upset about something and I managed to find out what. Spencer wouldn’t pay the 30cents for her to collect water from her well of choice (less salty) but made her go to the one she doesn’t like (salty water). She has no money of her own and has to be happy with what ever he says. It is he who decides what she will do during her days – he takes greedily what ever food he wants and leaves the remains for her. I know it’s none of my business but I hate to see him sitting around all day long and her working like a dog. It’s just another cultural difference which I don’t understand cause it’s not part of my upbringing. I can’t imagine what they would question about our habits.
She is so capable, strong and intelligent as with so many women here. There are many NGO’s that try to empower African woman – talk about a capacity! They should and could rule the world! It would be easier than what they do now….
.....as for the bun business. Baking is only part of the project and for them its the easiest. Everyday the buns are perfect, but finding ways to sell them and customers to buy them is difficult. I wish I could talk to her. I hardly ever get to talk to the women as most don't speak english due to not attending school long enough. The money is also challenging for them but they're also very motivated and proud of that aspect.
I'm off.....
Thanks for hanging with me. I know I'm now seeing that life is not perfect here and I feel like I'm complaining - but it isn't perfect. It has it's problems and the more I understand them and get personally involved in them, I guess I want to try and explain how it really is....and feels - cause I'm participating in it all.
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